“Def Jam Rapstar: Songs Too Offensive to Sing at Your Desk” |
| Def Jam Rapstar: Songs Too Offensive to Sing at Your Desk Posted: 17 Sep 2010 08:17 PM PDT With a game like Def Jam Rapstar, one would expect it to be provocative. We knew that going in, but Konami informed us that the songs would all be radio edits, giving the game a measly Teen rating. Turns out that doesn't stop wannabe emcees from saying those words anyway. See Jack here? We've got him covering the game because he has the biggest rap credentials in the office (namely being an extra in a rap parody music video). He's been playing Def Jam Rapstar all week at his desk, just like we do with every game. The problem is that no other game involves spouting off phrases that would make his mother slap him in the face. Here's just a sampling of some of the complaints our resident rapper has received.Even though it's the radio edit, that doesn't change the fact that this song is an anthem for the Yin Yang Twin's record breaking distance of their… well you know. Offended Editor: Ryan Geddes "I looked up 'skeet skeet' in the Urban Dictionary. That's gross." It is not hot in the office. In fact the AC keeps it pretty chilly. So Jack has no excuse for urging everyone to take off every article of clothing they have on. Offended Editor: Craig Harris "It's really not necessary for you to strip while you sing this!" There's one word that appears in rap songs a lot that Jack should never ever ever say. And replacing that word with "ninjas" or, even worse, fellow editor's last names doesn't make it better. Offended Editor: Brian Miggels "Dude, stop using my last name for that! Not cool, bro!" There are a lot of words that Def Jam Rapstar blanks out. Lil Wayne manages to use every single one of them. On top of that he calls women "bitches" more times in one song than Jack has in his entire life. Offended Editor: Dana Jongewaard "Say that word one more time and I'll show you what a bitch I can be." Luckily for Jack, HR sits all the way across the office. Unfortunately they sometimes walk by and hear some particularly choice lines. Offended Employee: Jennie from HR "Why are people complaining that Jack said he'd do anything for a Klondike? Wait, he said WHAT?!" Public Enemy wasn't afraid to talk about race, and compare modern day issues with illustrations about the slave trade. Jack shouldn't even be listening to this. Offended Editor: Colin Moriarty "That is not historically accurate, bro!" Drake's hit song is a sweet love song to his one true love that happens to feature some of the most disgusting double entendres and metaphors imaginable. Offended Editor: Jessica Chobot "You're going to make my WHAT whistle like the Andy Griffith theme song?! This song is actually pretty tame, but Soulja Boy is so bad that his very existence is offensive. Offended Editor: Daemon Hatfield "He makes me want to stop being a musician forever." We'll have more coverage of Def Jam Rapstar in the coming weeks, assuming Jack doesn't get fired. This entry passed through the Full-Text RSS service — if this is your content and you're reading it on someone else's site, please read our FAQ page at fivefilters.org/content-only/faq.php |
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